Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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