I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
