whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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