she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
