guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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