My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
