Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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