just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
