its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
