I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
