yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
