You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
