Buhtt sex?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
