i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
