Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
