I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize
