i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
