he puts the penis in happiness.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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