wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Someone shattered a urinal.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
50% drunk capacity currently
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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