how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
