Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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