I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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