I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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