When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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