its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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