p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
