I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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