I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
