those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
