I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
