Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
