something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
