This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
