Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just want to make out with him forever
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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