Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
