he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
