i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
