At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
