jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
