five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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