He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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