I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize