I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
