so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
