We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
