break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
