How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
