the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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