Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
