I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
